I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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