I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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