we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
only you would photoshop your dick
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
