I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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