I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
