grandma shit on top of the toilet
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
What a dumb baby whore.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
