Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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