I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
