Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
