He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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