So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
