oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
