we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
