So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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