my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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