i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
