I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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