I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
