That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
