TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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