Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
