I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He shit in the fireplace
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
