Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
