Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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