Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
