hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
