Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
