If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
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That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
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why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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