It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
