Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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