Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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