meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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