It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
