He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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