I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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