I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
