This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
