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so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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