It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
