I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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