he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
