someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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