I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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