talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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