I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
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The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
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I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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