Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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