me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
