Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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