BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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