I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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