Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
that is very illegal...i love you.
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