i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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