I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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