Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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