Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
