Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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