i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
